Monday, 26 May 2014

Out Of Place...

I had a talk with someone a few days ago, talking about personal stuff about my past and what I been through, and they mentioned something to me that I am starting to kind of see more and more of here where I am, 3 words, OUT OF PLACE. I have had this thought back when I was depressed, and now that I out of it, I still feel as though I am, OUT OF PLACE. Always being pushed aside for others, always being left out of things, always the one alone. I remember one time in elementary where I was the doorman pretty much, letting people on stage, never really given the chance to do something, but always looked at as something less. When I try to push out of that and make a difference where I am, I am seen as nothing and not good enough, but yet from a lot of people I meet online, I seem to gain a lot more support from people in other places than the place I have lived in for years. Why is that, maybe because I am OUT OF PLACE. I can go on and on about this trust me, there some more deeper personal things I could mention about this that would really show that I may in fact be OUT OF PLACE. I can simply go on any online chat site and make a ton of friends and supporters and so on, but where I am, not likely, why, OUT OF PLACE. You know how it feels to be asked where, or how someone else is, and never about how you are or them wishing to know who you are, pretty much putting you aside, EVERY SINGLE TIME? No point going any place where the only response I would get is never about me, like at all.  They say I am losing it, I have people online who consider me as their son, brother, and in the past, the bf they never had or thought they would never have, but people here, a no body pretty much, why, OUT OF PLACE. This still happens to this very day, but guess its just something I have to deal with here right?....

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