Saturday, 31 May 2014

Love and Relationships Are 2 Different Things

You hear stories about couples who love each other so much, who love each other so much, and that nothing can ever go wrong because they love everything about each other and can not get enough of each other, but then just a few years later, you hear that they have had a couple of fights, and have broke up. How can that happen? 

Some guys say that girls have so many problems, that they are not loyal anymore, some girls say that guys are just greedy, wanting just one thing and not caring about their feelings anymore. Its true, sadly, that we live with these type of people in the world, however, not every guy, or girl is like that. Some situations happen that causes one to rethink about their partner, mostly the main issue that causes all these problems is all about one word, COMMUNICATION! 

To make a relationship work, both partners must take their time to understand the needs and wants from others, what each other needs in the relationship in order to make the relationship last long. Once you know and also understand about the needs of each other, knowing and understanding what and why they need it, you must take the time to think of if it is something that you can give. Think of these 3 things when they tell you what they need: is it something that will harm you? is it something that you can do ( and maybe even love to do), and is it something that you can live with ( that you can do it for life with no worries ). Make sure you are not stepping into a relationship where you know you will never be able to live with for the rest of your life.

Knowing, Understanding, and Accepting the needs of each other's needs are the keys to a long lasting relationship. You may love each other so much and may really want more for each other, but are you ready to handle the needs of your partner? 

Monday, 26 May 2014

Out Of Place...

I had a talk with someone a few days ago, talking about personal stuff about my past and what I been through, and they mentioned something to me that I am starting to kind of see more and more of here where I am, 3 words, OUT OF PLACE. I have had this thought back when I was depressed, and now that I out of it, I still feel as though I am, OUT OF PLACE. Always being pushed aside for others, always being left out of things, always the one alone. I remember one time in elementary where I was the doorman pretty much, letting people on stage, never really given the chance to do something, but always looked at as something less. When I try to push out of that and make a difference where I am, I am seen as nothing and not good enough, but yet from a lot of people I meet online, I seem to gain a lot more support from people in other places than the place I have lived in for years. Why is that, maybe because I am OUT OF PLACE. I can go on and on about this trust me, there some more deeper personal things I could mention about this that would really show that I may in fact be OUT OF PLACE. I can simply go on any online chat site and make a ton of friends and supporters and so on, but where I am, not likely, why, OUT OF PLACE. You know how it feels to be asked where, or how someone else is, and never about how you are or them wishing to know who you are, pretty much putting you aside, EVERY SINGLE TIME? No point going any place where the only response I would get is never about me, like at all.  They say I am losing it, I have people online who consider me as their son, brother, and in the past, the bf they never had or thought they would never have, but people here, a no body pretty much, why, OUT OF PLACE. This still happens to this very day, but guess its just something I have to deal with here right?....

Saturday, 17 May 2014

Something I Have Tried To Keep Secret... A Sacrifice....

As mentioned on my Google+, I would share a little something that I have been kind of hiding, something that I feel as though I need to share. 

In my life story, I mentioned someone who seemed to like me during elementary and left me during high school. To be honest I still feel as though she has, but the thing is, there was not really anything there, well that is how I see it looking back.Its true that I have had really strong feelings for her, and she was on my mind for almost 6 years, elementary and till the start of college. It is really hard to explain, mostly because I wish not to give out any details.

After high school, when I had really bad thoughts about the school, the one thing that was still on my mind, was her. I knew that there was nothing, but yet I could not stop thinking about it. I felt as though at that time, I had no choice but to make her hate me, in order to picture her as one of them, and to keep it that way. I could not stop wanting something that was clearly never there, no matter how much at that time that I wish it could. I had no choice, but to let go, it was too hard to let go, that the only way I knew to at that time, was to get her to tell me something that would make her hate me, and me hate her.... and I did. I was kind of surprised that she did believe that what I said, but I guess she believed that they ( others ) were right, or cause I seemed pretty depressed, as I was obviously, I don't blame her. I have had so much done to me in my life that anything could have happened to me. 

It was a sacrifice, something that while I was looking back and listened to a few songs from my past ( the post before this one ), I see that it was like it was meant to happen, for me to become who I am now. If I could say just 2 words to her, it would be... thank you. 

This is the song that got me to think about it:

Friday, 16 May 2014

My Dark Past, Told By Songs From My Past....

I have taken the time to look up a few songs I used to keep to myself, continually listen to during my dark, depressing past, and now I wish to share them with you. A WARNING, some of these songs are REALLY DARK and DEPRESSING!! you have been warned....

First song: Draconian: the solitude:
I remember listening to this when my depression truly taken over, during college, keeping to myself, keeping my personal life, my social life to online friends, and keeping the fun talkative side of me to myself, and online, never really being close to anyone in the " real world "

Next: Moonspell: Night Eternal:
Another song that I have listened during my college years, truly feeling the " darkness " in me, and doing what I can to keep it so, you have no clue how i used to feel and think, DARKNESS! DARK THOUGHTS!.... was really something.....

Cradle of Filth - Her Ghost in the Fog :
I used to listen to things like this a lot, used to keep myself truly isolated from others by any means. Would make myself hate those who have stabbed me in the back, even if I liked them, any way to keep everyone around me away, only focusing to my online friends, lost my true self, and truly believed I was fully darkened, and no one would ever see who I am.

Hammerfall: Never Ever:

Diary of Dreams: The Curse:

Diary of Dreams: The Wedding:

I have always kept all the pain in me to myself, never truly getting it out, did not want to make anyone else lives worse as mine was, I cared about people even if I was in such pain... AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO AND WILL PROVE PEOPLE WRONG AND WILL BRING ABOUT A POSITIVE CHANGE! ...

Diary of Dreams: King of Nowhere:

Sunday, 4 May 2014


A letter that I have written to various places, thought I would also share it with you:


My name is Shahid Munawar, and I am here to ask for some help / support with an anti bullying idea.

First off, I have contacted the TDSB about this, an anti-bullying proposal, and they told me that they were happy with it and will be contacting me in a few weeks. I do not plan on waiting to make an impact, a statement. That’s where you come in, the reason I contacting you. I have also contacted a few organizations and may be supporting me with this.

My goal is to give students who suffer from bullying, and depression an opportunity to show that are something, that they have something special in them. Everyone has something special in them to become anything that they wish to become, and should never be forced or lose sight of that. There must be something in place that will control and monitor bullying to the point that any issues can be stopped before it gets worse.

My dream is to create a spot in the board, focused on bullying issues. There must be people who focused on making a change when it comes to bullying, and I wish to create that spot.

Your probably thinking “what does this have to do with me?”, well I wish to know what you can do to help me with this change I working on.

If you wish to know more, or to support me in this in any way, please contact me.

A little about me, I have overcome so much in my life. I was so depressed in the past to the point that doctors thought I was just born shy, but later in life, after graduating from college, my depression really kicked in. I overcame that, and have reached out online, helping people for about 6 years, but now I want to do much more. I have always believed I could do something big, have even been told that from a life coach, and a few doctors, I know I was meant to make change, and I will make change. Have always proved the doubters wrong, and will continue to do so, and will stay committed in creating change for as many people as possible.

The life coach’s website:

Thank you for your time, and hope to hear from you soon.
Best Wishes,  Shahid Munawar

Saturday, 3 May 2014

Some Schools....

Schools say that they work on trying to create change in the schools, with awareness, with action. However, we also see some teachers, principals, and other staff of these schools pretending to help, but yet making things worse. Not sure what I am talking about, read below:

In my life, back in elementary school in grade 4, I was put into one of those help classes, where they help you with your studying and homework and so on. Everything seemed ok, until the teachers there told my parents and me that I do not have what it takes to reach a proper high school. You would think that the principals and other staff there would help, instead, they other did nothing, or supported the teachers, just because they knew they were "helping" other students, when really, all they were doing was keeping other students down, probably so that their jobs would be easier, or for some other reason. I ended up proving them wrong when me and my parents convinced them to put me in regular classes with no help from them, and almost getting all As. This is a really serious problem, why would teachers, who's job is to help, educate, and to build students up and teach them how to succeed, not to simply give up on them, saying they do not have what it takes.

Some schools pretend to support anti bullying, but yet you do not see any sort of change in those schools. You may hear them talk about how students should stop bullying, but yet the teachers, and sometimes even some staff, are bullying their students. Some staff, who say they were told to work with students to end bullying, seem to ignore any helpful advice, or support from others, almost as if they do not really care about the position they are in, and almost as if they don't care about the students, but only do it because its their job. This really needs to change, there should be something in place, maybe once a month, where the teachers, and staff of the school get tested, to see if they are focused on the students, or themselves.

Some schools do not seem to care about their students, but try to mask the truth from the outside world with little things, but yet, never truly caring or seeing what is really happening in their schools. THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE!