I have been so focused on change since way back in high school, I was so depressed in the past, so much that all I wanted in the past was just people to be with, to have that close connection with, and it became a pretty big addiction, I thought I was doing what I wanted to do, but really I was so focused on my pain without knowing it, that I just wanted to live FOR someone, never cared about what I wanted to be, went into computers cause I wanted to prove that I was not stupid, what I cared was wanting that bond with someone, became such an addiction, but the moment, a few weeks ago, that .... she left ... I really had no one and nothing to really hang on to but myself, and that short little time thinking of me, i realized what was going on, I was sick, but now I'm free.
Sometimes, you may feel that you are out of depression, that you are out of an addictive way of life, but then you see that you just fell into another. Sometimes, you may feel like you are all about having a bond with someone, but then later you see the true self, your true self, Something that makes you feel so different, something that you really do not understand, or may think you do not understand, but then realize that it was always who you were, and who you were supposed to be. I went from stuttering, and worrying about getting a job in the field I graduated, to expressing, and talking about how passionate I am for CHANGE! I never thought I was worried, but was shy, and thought I had problems getting things out. Once I really saw who I was, am, and will be, it became so much easier.
You may never know who you are until you are put into a position where you have nothing and no one around you and have no choice but to think of yourself.
NEVER GIVE UP HOPE! :)