Saturday, 16 November 2013

One Thing I Wish I Was Told In The Past

In my past, I was always focused on wanting to make others like me, even if I was always made fun of and laughed at and so on. I would always try various things to show that I had something to show, even if I felt like I had to " dumb myself down " in order to do that. After I was told my a doctor that came to my high school ( a teacher saw that I was depressed and stuff ), told me that I had a superior mind and that I should be getting straight As and so on, I then felt as though they had a problem with me in general. So I focused on showing people that I wasn't stupid and that I had something and so on, and also focused on proving people wrong. I lost sight on what I wanted to become and was more focused on wanting to prove people wrong by taking a program in college that I can really show what I can do and so on, but something that after graduating and feeling free to choose what I want to do, and later it caused me to get real stressed and confused because of 2 things, my depression, and have not focused on myself for years. It caused me even more stress and got me even more depressed than I was used to from my school and college years because I went from focusing on others for years, to trying and struggling on what I wanted for myself, and also focused on getting a job in a field that I was good at, but did not feel interested in. It even got me thinking at the time that I was stuck in doing what I graduated in and had no other options. It even caused my mind to be in a loop, where I would want to do something, do it ( sometimes not really ), and then get a feeling where I would feel as though people think less of me for not doing what I have done and stuff like that and would stop based on that. It was something that really really messed me up for a while.

If you are ever in a situation like this where you want to focus on proving people wrong, always remember to focus on something you want to be and be the best that you can be on it. Don't loss sight at what you want to become, and don't let others control your future and make you go into something because you want to prove people wrong. Go into something because you want to, not because you have to or because its something that can show that you are smart or anything like that, choose something you want to be and be the best at it.

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