Guest107: hi how are yea
LostHuman: tbh, i dont know anymore
LostHuman: what about u?
Guest107: tell me whats on your mind ... and im fine ... trying to reach out and help people and also trying to start something here in canada ... i want to try to make a much bigger and posative impact in the world ... but anyways
Guest107: but anyways ... tell me whats wrong - listens -
LostHuman: I see thats nice tho.
LostHuman: Well, tbh i dont know whats wrong anymore, i got everything any1 in the world could ask for, nice friends, money, girls and a rly good pay job.. tho im only 19
LostHuman: but i only lack one thing, which intellegence and money cant get, is my family
LostHuman: it all started out when i was a young boy. i Didnt knew who my dad was, so i suppoosed my father was the man who lived with us.
Guest107: - keeps listening - just letting u know i here
LostHuman: he was rly nice tho, till some years later, he started to beat me and my brother, and got us to beat eachother up.
LostHuman: And my mother was pretending not to know
LostHuman: shes was beaten her self tho.
LostHuman: then she got 2 children with this man, and then she left her after he stole her enharidence.
LostHuman: some time later, i started to make loads of problems at the school
LostHuman: but i felt i wasnt to blame for it, i didnt start anything
LostHuman: so, my mother got trouble with childservice and i got all the blame for that
LostHuman: later on, it evolved to a bigger problem, they wanted to move me and my brothers away from my mother. i was actaully happy for that, ofc it never happend
LostHuman: my mother took us away to another country and started all over again.
Guest107: - keeps listening - so far it seems like maybe u wanted to show your mom that u are not to blame
LostHuman: I got throwen out some months after we moved( age 14)
LostHuman: And i had to stand at own feet. i got help from my grandma and the government and they took my brothers away from her.
LostHuman: I was moved to some random ppl who had stupid problems, nothing real. just because they didnt get what they wanted (spoiled kids)
LostHuman: I didnt like it at all, and i had to speak with counslers and stuff. they thought i was kinda crazy.
LostHuman: wanted me on a mental house for my way of thinking.
LostHuman: and by that time, i got that counsler fired.
LostHuman: So i moved on, moved in with some peepz and it felt totally lost, i wanted to go back to my old country, too my friends and stuff
LostHuman: Took me 3 years before i got back
LostHuman: after the day i got thrown out, i havent heard anything from my mother
LostHuman: Its it not her i miss
LostHuman: i miss the fact of having a family
LostHuman: something i lost long time ago
LostHuman: This is just a short version
Guest107: - reads what u said - i just rereading it so i can help u
Guest107: but that is some story
Guest107: i really sorry for what happened that person who left your mom was such a ... u know ... for what he did
LostHuman: as they say, scares grown into your skin.
LostHuman: And i dont even know my self anymore..
LostHuman: Im living some1 elses life, the person i am in my everyday life is just pure evil.
LostHuman: i dont rly know how to explain it, but in other words, my life is just a F.... mess...
Guest107: i dont think u are evil ... u seem like u want something back so bad and would do anything to get it back ... and might have ... effected your head
Guest107: this is a common story ... in a way ... people losing people and then feel like they are evil and hateful ... but deep inside they just want something that no longer there aand want and " need" something to cover it
Guest107: i think what you need to do is to look back at your past ... and look at each and every event ... that man leaving
Guest107: actualy... no ....
Guest107: sorry just trying to focus ... have 2 people to help and trying to focus on one ... but il focus on u right now since u seem to need more help than the other
LostHuman: i see, well the fact is. i will never be able to get back to my family.
LostHuman: her losing my brothers killed her. how can you give life back to some1 who is "dead"
Guest107: exactly that is obvious ... but the thing is your mind, and your feelings seem to be stuck back then
LostHuman: Because im jalluose
LostHuman: I want my family, even tho my bestfriends family take me in as theirs
Guest107: that is just part of it .... u know more than anyone that sometimes u need to focus on yourself and get what u need ... like the money, girls, and so on, like u said
Guest107: so u know that ... from what u said at the begining
LostHuman: How can you want something you alrdy have?
LostHuman: i dont know how to express it
Guest107: no i mean ... like u worked to get it and did get it right
LostHuman: but even to i succed over and over again
LostHuman: I cant seem to get my family back
Guest107: ... look at what u just said
Guest107: u cant seem to get your family back
Guest107: your words but u just said
Guest107: how can u get something that is dead
LostHuman: i rly dont know
Guest107: say i said i going to kill people and demand my family back .... i would sound crazy right
Guest107: actualy not a family
LostHuman: i didnt quite get that one
Guest107: say there was a girl that u like ... but she married and adores someone else
Guest107: and u say u going to kill him to get her ... would never happen
Guest107: she would just hate u ... could accept because u have a gun / knife ... but she would never truly love u and care for u and stuff
Guest107: i am saying this because
Guest107: u say u want something that u cant get
Guest107: that is also something that would not happen
LostHuman: then i rly dont know what to do
LostHuman: cause ive lost my spark to do anything
LostHuman: Even tho i hate my family, its what i want the most. but thats maybe life. you will never get what you rly want
Guest107: ... look ... your parents are gone ... but i believe some part in them loved u ... even if they didnt seem to care
Guest107: u never know what they going through
Guest107: i mean what if they also had ... health issues guess u can say .... I AM NOT CALLING THEM CRAZY
Guest107: but i just saying what if they had stress stuff in them
Guest107: i mean as u said
Guest107: your mom was hurting herself
LostHuman: huring herself how?
LostHuman: what i ment by dead earlier was, she gave up life after loosing her kids
LostHuman: if you missunderstood that
Guest107: before u mentioned that the guy left
Guest107: u said that your mom was hurting yourself
LostHuman: pc restarted
Guest107: its ok wb
Guest107: so before u mentioned that guy left your family ... your dad ... u said that your mom was hurting herself
LostHuman: She got beaten up by my stephfather
Guest107: then she was most likely stressed and had ... mental issues because of your stepfather
LostHuman: might be, only she knows..
Guest107: think about it ... say someone was watching everything u doing
Guest107: and if u did something bad he would come after u or something
Guest107: u would get scared and want to fight back .... but what if u couldnt
Guest107: like probably your mom felt because she loved him .... i guessing
LostHuman: There is always a choice
LostHuman: I guess she did
Guest107: she wanted what was best for u
Guest107: say they were paying for your food and your stuff
LostHuman: She was the one with money, he was the one who stole all of it.
Guest107: ... then maybe he blackmailed her
Guest107: he threatened her and beat her
Guest107: if she was to stand against him or something ... he would take the money and leave and could do it any time
LostHuman: i wouldnt know. because i was to young
Guest107: exactly .... but u are older now
LostHuman: Well, true.
Guest107: your mom loved u and cared for u
Guest107: and had to go through hell for u ... but she couldnt take it
Guest107: take all the hurt and pain and stuff
Guest107: but she took it all for u till it was too much
LostHuman: believe me when i say this. she might have taken alot, but what happend to me and my brother can never be fixed.
LostHuman: as you and i said, i want the thing i cant have. a real family...
Guest107: look ... their are people out there who are orphans ... who have always wanted that type of life ... u know that i just stating it
Guest107: u are not the only one who wants that .... u need to know that the thing about you and your brother ... u and your brother must have had some good times in the past
Guest107: i mean besides all that was happening
LostHuman: My brother moved out when i was 11
LostHuman: and earlier we had no relationship because of my stephfather
Guest107: oh .... then i feel like the best way would be to get back with your brother ... like i said helping u and someone lse so if i forgot something with u and ur bro i sorry ... or if u cant
LostHuman: Only time will show
Guest107: just know that he is missing u and wanting u to have a great life ... if u missing him this much then u can imagine how he is
LostHuman: Hmm, you help me set my mind in a better place right now
Guest107: :) your welcome
LostHuman: Thanks alot man!
LostHuman: Btw, hope your place will be succesful!
Guest107: thanks :)
LostHuman: Just remember one thing
Guest107: - listens -
LostHuman: If you want it to Succed. You'll have to want it was bad as you want to breath
LostHuman: Tell you'll be succesful
LostHuman: You'll have to want it as bad as you want to breath*
Guest107: :) thanks il make sure to keep that in mind and make sure that i get it
LostHuman: ^^ have a nice day.
Guest107: u too